another new reality

So I'm as bald as a cue ball....had more hair on my head when I exited the womb. But the short cut was falling out in splotchy patterns and it was everywhere. Just got sick of it. Night before last I had Steve use his electric razor to take it down and yesterday morning a razor and shaving cream brought off the rest to make me rival Bruce Willis. Just one more thing to strip away what little femininity I had left.
Now I'm making daily trips down to the hospital for Neupugin shots....said to inspire your bone marrow to produce white blood cells. It's also said to cause deep bone and muscle aches. I've had 2 shots now and feel nothing...thanks goodness. Just tired and a tiny bit nauseous today from the biggie on tuesday....not bad.

Bright spot for the day: wigs fit better on a bald head and I still have amazing friends even if I look suspiciously like an alien :-)

glass half full?

At this point I'm just struggling to stay positive....I was supposed to have chemo today (my 3rd session of the super poison) but they tell me my white count is severely compromised so now I'll end up waiting till next Tuesday. I was already prepared to have this week ruined so didn't really plan anything besides Christmas morning with the kids. It'll be nice to feel ok that day, but I had planned to feel better by next week and was hoping to do something fun....anything. It also extends my 18 week period one more week. Ugh.....I'm just venting today.....The glass is still half full...I'm just having trouble seeing it.

Bright spot for the day....I didn't have to sit in a chair and let them pump poison into me and Steve got to work in the shop all day. :-) It's all good...

my new look

ok, so I haven't had short hair since i was mistaken for a boy at the age of 12 so this is a big deal for me. Sometimes I forget that it's short and then catch my reflection and it's still such a surprise. But seeing as it's still thinning pretty rapidly it's MUCH less traumatic now that it's short. Last week was pretty depressing....

Today was my 5th round of the lesser poison...Bridget was my new chemo buddy today. Had a nice day just sitting and chatting. It was soooo cold today but I just couldn't make these legs walk any faster to get across the parking lot. My body is so slow and my mind can't figure out why i'm so weak. It still keeps expecting to work all day and then do a workout, make dinner and clean the house. lol...I get tired after 4 hours of work and nap if I'm lucky enough for it not to be a hospital day or AGI day. In short, I'm realizing my temporary shortcomings and am learning to relax and nap.....after I decorate the rest of the house for Christmas of course. hee hee

Bright spot of the day: we decorated the tree....it's listing to the east and it's a little smaller but it's decorated and pretty. :-)

super-poison

So....round two of the super-poison has just commenced. This is the every three week one so I've got 3 days pencilled in for nausea and exhaustion (and I'm praying nothing more than that). Hopefully by Friday night I'll be back in the saddle. Steve went with me to sit there for 5 hours. Played a game of scrabble (he'll want me to inform everyone here that he won) and a couple games of 500 rummy. All in all a good day....the oncology nurses make it bearable. Can't say enough about them.

My hair is thinning. I'm getting way too much out in a brush or pick or just with my hands and I'm pretty sure I'm not making any more. Hopefully this hair loss thing is my last big hurdle---at least emotionally. It'll be a tough day but I've got lots of support from some pretty incredible people in my life. Thank God for them!!!! :-)

Bright spot #1---Spent a rainy Tuesday with my sweetie
Bright spot #2---Super-poison round two is over....4 more of those to go

for any who are still reading this drivel

I don't know if anyone out there is actually still reading this but it's at least a good way to journal....

Wednesday I was just tired all day...no big deal. Definitely didn't have to take the whole darn day off but I did, not knowing what to expect. Thursday the nausea set in and Friday it really took hold of me. Worked both of those days 4 hours each, but spent the rest on the couch either sleeping (odd for me) or laying as still as possible. By Friday night, the nausea had abated a good bit and today I hardly had any. So maybe I'm on the upswing of these fun and games. Tomorrow I'd like to go to church, although Steve has balked at this suggestion after the oncology nurse informed me I'm not to be in big crowds like malls or theaters. I figure God'll protect me in church ;-)

Bright spot of the last 2 days---I didn't actually throw up.
Bright spot for today----played our first game of pool since our world turned upside down over a month ago. Really missed our poolhall world.

one down.....

Alrighty then....what an incredibly LONNNNNNG day. But I have been successfully infused with all the poison's they could think of and am now just awaiting the your-body-really-hates-you reactions.
Chemo at Loudoun is not so bad. Buncha fun nurses there. (And it's gotta be fun) Made this experience much more tolerable. My awesome husband went with me and even though it was a 7 hour day we had a good time....(it's been said that we can have fun at a funeral so what's chemo?) I beat him in scrabble and then we read and picked on each other and the nurses.

Bright spot of the day.....1st session is OVER!! By my calculations I'll be done chemo February 22ish :-))))))))

sleepy thursday

A rainy rainy day....Had 5 good hours of work today but not much sleep last night. Two hours does not constitute a full night of rest.
The mediport is in place and ready for the fun and games to begin. It's still a little tender to brush against but the worst part was the wicked neck/headache I had for 6 days. You know when they tell you "oh you won't even know it's there!!" and it keeps you from sleeping and back on percocet for 5 days---let's just say I was VERY aware of it! Anyway, the headache is completely gone today and the neck pain is only there when I lay down but it's also subsiding. Still just very tired and usually a little uncomfortable but relatively painfree.

Bright spot of the day......spent the morning (while working) with my sweetie and less than a week till I'm cleared for a light workout! I know it's also less than a week till I start chemo and probably won't feel like working out but the fact that I'm allowed and able is good enough for me :-)

two steps forward...one step back

I've spent the last 2 days on the couch with mediport pain. Yesterday morning they implanted the thing on the left (until then, unaffected) side of my chest to make it more convenient for needletime. Guess I'll appreciate that later. Just made my first chemo date for the 9th....every week for a year for the Herceptin. So I have one more week of "normal" then we start a brand new "normal"...

Today's bright spot....it's Friday and it doesn't hurt if I don't move....that's all I got...

update to update

Got results back on the lab rat day I had on Monday....blood test and chest xray are clear of any nasty cells or growths and the old ticker is good to go to tolerate Herceptin for a whole freakin year. Yay. Anyway, that was good news I got yesterday I thought I'd share. Today I went to the office for the first time in a month....the drive down 66 pooped me out. What's with that??? Ridiculous...Maybe next week I'll be able to get through a couple journals at work without getting the yawns. lol

Tomorrow is mediport day. Gives them needle access for the chemo and other lovely new inhabitants I'll be hosting. Again Yay. Know what tho, could be worse...it can always be worse. Gotta find a bright spot in each day...today I drove through a long downpour with no sound but the windshield wipers going...love those sounds. Always find the bright spot even if you're not sick :-) Every day has at least one

update

ok so I just learned this week how to post on my own blog.

Just wanted to update those of you who have the slightest interest. I seem to be healing well....my doctors say so....I have good days and bad, but mostly good and my only real complaint besides discomfort is turning into a 3-year old who needs lunch and a nap at noon. Yesterday I had more pre-chemo tests to make sure I'm staged correctly and don't have any parties going on elsewhere. Haven't heard any results yet but I'm hoping for good news. Then we can just go ahead with the regular poison instead of the more potent cocktail. I'll be starting chemo the week of November 8th. Until then I'll be muddling through each day waiting for some semblance of energy to return. I figure 2 more weeks....just in time for fun-with-chemicals.

Next step...

Hello all!

Nez and Steve met with the oncologist yesterday.  It was determined she'll have weekly rounds of intravenous chemotherapy for 18 weeks.  She is physically doing well with her pain level at around 2.  Emotionally, she's staying strong.

If you would like to get in touch with her, the best way is through a private note on Facebook.  She can reply on the laptop when she logs on.

Nez wanted me to pass on that she thanks all of you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Posted by Dena for Nez

Recovery update...

Just wanted to touch base and let all of you know that our patient is doing well.  Nez went to a follow-up appointment with the surgeon and received a glowing report!  She returns to him on Friday for another "check-up."  She has an appointment on Wednesday with the oncologist.  Hopefully, we will find out then what the next step will be.

We really appreciate all of the love everyone is showing her.  The food and gifts have been wonderful!  Thank you all!


Posted by Dena for Nez

Take two percocet and call me in the morning...

Nez and Steve actually got some sleep last night!  She is doing very well.  She's improving every day, getting more and more strength and mobility.  She's in great spirits, too!

I must say she hired one the finest nurses around to help out...Steve's doing a great job.  Her mom came down from PA and plans on staying for a while to help out as well. 

I'll probably not post for a couple of days since there should be nothing new to report, but if something important arises, I'll definitely post it here.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by Dena for Nez

WELCOME HOME, NEN!!!

Our girl has just gotten home!  She is FINALLY in her own bed and is hoping to get some REAL sleep!! YAY!!!  :D

Posted by Dena for Nez

The Test Results Are In....

Hello all.

Just spoke with Nez.  The surgeon just stopped by her room and said the test results showed she is Stage 2.  She's this stage for two reasons - (1) the tumor size was bigger than 2 cm and (2) during surgery they removed two lymph nodes for testing; one came back with a microscopic trace of cancer cells and the other came back with none.  Because one came back with a trace of cancer cells and the tumor was that size, they had to categorize her as Stage 2.

As far as treatment after she heals from the surgery, it is still undetermined.  However, the surgeon's best guess is that she will probably undergo chemo and not radiation, but that will be determined by her oncologist.  We're hoping she can take the chemo in pill form and that it won't cause nausea or hair loss.

Nez said she feels 75% better than yesterday.  They had her walking down the hall and she has spent most of the morning sitting in a chair.

She will probably be released tomorrow.  Once I find out for sure, I'll post it here.

Posted by Dena for Nez

Today's Update...

Nez didn't get much sleep last night.  (Who does in hospitals??)  The reconstructive surgeon visited her this morning and said everything looked good.  They got her out of bed and had her sit in a chair.  She said she actually felt pretty good sitting there.  She got back into bed and felt like she needed to slide up a bit in bed.  When they assisted her, the nurse lowered the bed to a flat position which caused Nez to experience some pain and discomfort.  (Nez is supposed to stay in an inclined position at all times.)  Nez said that up to that point she only had some pain in her chest, but nothing in the abdominal region.  After the bed incident, she began experiencing pain in the abdomen as well.  They increased her pain medication and although she still felt the pain, it was controlled but left her feeling very groggy and a bit loopy.  Over the course of the afternoon, the pain had subsided a bit and she became more and more alert, but she remains tired.  Both the oncologist and the reconstructive surgeon are due to see her this afternoon.  Overall, she's doing really well other than that, ah hem, mishap....ggrrrrrrrr.....

Posted by Dena for Nez

Success!!!

As you know, Nez underwent her mastectomy and her reconstructive surgery today.  Both doctors said the surgery went very well.  Preliminary results show no cancer cells in her lymph nodes.  We have to wait for testing to be done to confirm.  Testing will also be completed to determine what stage her cancer is and what future treatment will look like (ie - chemo or radiation).  We should receive the results of the testing by the end of the week or weekend.  Looks like she will be in the hospital until Wednesday or Thursday.

All of us appreciate everything you are doing for her and Steve.  They really have a loving network around them.  Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. 

Posted by Dena for Nez

Hey Guys!

Hey Guys!  Thanks for checking in here.  This is where you'll get most of your information about my recovery.  It will be updated as much as possible.  It means a lot to me that you would even check it.  

For the first couple of days, Dena will keep this blog up-to-date and keep you posted.  After that, I will be able to personally post here.  I probably won't be emailing much so I thought this would be a better way to get information out and answer questions.

Thanks for all of your prayers and positive thoughts!