As I sit here on the couch on the day after my last chemo treatment, I reflect back on this past year. It was last March when I found the lump. Just "there" one morning and alarmingly big. Ignoring the obvious and not having insurance, I concentrated on my daughter's May 1st wedding instead of going to a doctor. By the time I did get there, it was July and the news wasn't good. In my ignorant bliss, I actually had myself believing that because the lump was painful it wasn't cancer. Obviously I was wrong. Such a strange and surreal thing to hear the word cancer when it's pertaining to you. It took a long time to wrap my head around that. Of course, seeing is believing. The mammogram and the MRI made this all very real. There it was right in front of me. The news that the breast had to go was tramatizing to say the least but it was really the best choice and I was in good hands between my two surgeons. Recovery was tough but I made it through and realized how many wonderful friends I have right here in this tiny town....I can't think of a better place to live or a better bunch of people. (That goes to all of those outside the Hillsboro area too...you know who you are.) Love you all!

Chemo is a bitch. There's no other way to say it. It's poison running through your veins ruining everything in it's path and leaving horrible side effects in its wake. It robs you of your sanity and emotional stability and whatever femininity you had left. It plays with your mind and even now, now that it's over, the fear of recurrence isn't really of a tumor itself, but of having to go through treatment again. Now that I've been there, I know I never want to go back.
So for the next 2 weeks my body will fight against itself, constantly striving for the "other side". I'll get there and I'll be better than ever! I'll have new hair, my eyes will stop watering, my nails won't look rotten anymore, I won't be too exhausted to get up the steps to go to bed. In April I plan to take my life back....back to eating right and exercising 6 days a week...no more nausea and spending my time as a couch potato where tv is overated. I'll be able to form thoughts without chemo-brain. And I can't wait!!!

This might very well be my last blog update as I don't plan on having enough time to spend talking about how I'm always feeling :-D Besides it would be a boring blog to hear about how NORMAL I feel.